Posted on February 02, 2021 in Divorce

You might worry about the effect breaking apart your family will have on your child. However, take reassurance in the fact that millions of other children are in a similar position. It is not so much your relationship’s legal status that matters, but how you are as parents.

How can you share parenting well?

Successfully raising a child after divorce depends on good communication between you and the other parent. It can be hard when your divorce is still fresh. Here are some ways that you can make co-parenting a success:

• Put your child first: When both parents take a child-centric view, things become easier. It can be challenging to differentiate your personal wishes from what is right for your child. Spending time with both parents is usually in the child’s best interest.
• Talk to each other: If you have problems talking to your spouse on the phone, consider messaging or email. Avoid using your child as a go-between.

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 Posted on January 20, 2021 in Child Custody

At the start of a divorce, many parents assume they need to fight for sole custody of their children. They abhor the very idea of shared custody.

Maybe you cannot bear the thought of being separated from your children. Perhaps you feel it shows how much you love them. Or that other people would think badly of you if you fail to fight. However, doing so may not be what is best for you or your child.

There are many advantages to sharing physical custody of the kids

Each parent’s different life experiences, skills, interests and parenting styles can contribute something unique to their child’s development. Here are some other advantages to sharing parenting:

1. Children enjoy spending time with their parents: When a child has grown up with two parents, cutting them off from one is not beneficial.

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 Posted on January 07, 2021 in Divorce

Money woes have ended many relationships in Herndon and Fairfax County. A lost job, a house the couple cannot afford, steep credit card bills; these and similar financial problems can add up to divorce if the couple cannot find another solution.

Individual economic trouble may increase the chances of divorce in a particular marriage. But a bad national economy may have the opposite effect. A study from Bowling Green State University found that divorce filings are down significantly. Examining five states, researchers found that divorce rates dropped in four of the states in 2020, a year in which the U.S. experienced one of the worst recessions in its history. One of the study’s authors said there was a similar trend during the Great Recession of 2008-09.

What might be causing the divorce drop?

As much as financial difficulties can strain a marriage, divorce can make things even tougher. Getting divorced generally means finding a way to afford two households. And if a couple is having trouble making ends meet in one house, it probably would be even tougher for each spouse to afford their own home individually.

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 Posted on January 05, 2021 in Divorce

Divorce happens for a lot of reasons. Many, such as financial troubles and infidelity, are well known. However, it’s important to consider all possible reasons and not to assume that all divorce cases look the same. Today, let’s take a look at the link between TV and divorce, which is discussed far less often.

Are you happy?

The biggest thing to ask is whether or not your habits regarding the TV reflect your happiness in your marriage. If they do, that can be an issue.

For instance, some studies have linked unhappy couples with excessive TV viewing. Couples gravitate toward easy entertainment, like TV, when they’re trying to ignore the fact that they’re not happy together. Maybe they don’t like spending time together. If all they can do is binge-watch shows, that unhappiness could eventually lead to a split. It’s not the TV that causes the divorce, but it just exposes the true issue — unhappiness — that will finally end the marriage.

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 Posted on December 21, 2020 in Trusts

People typically make two big mistakes when it comes to estate planning. The first is that they put off the process indefinitely. The second big mistake that a lot of people make with their estate plan is to keep it as simple as possible.

Many times, people prioritize how quickly they can get in and out of an estate planning appointment rather than maximizing the protections they will get from that plan. While a trust might mean slightly more financial investment while estate planning and a slightly longer process as well, a trust can protect you and your loved ones.

There are dozens of great reasons to use a trust, but the following three are some of the most common.

Someone you love has special needs

If you have a child or other loved one with special needs, creating a trust for their inheritance can protect them in several ways. A special needs trust won’t prevent your loved one from qualifying for state aid. It can also prevent them from making mistakes with an inheritance that could have lifelong repercussions.

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 Posted on December 09, 2020 in Divorce

By the time that you tell your children about your upcoming divorce, you have known that it’s coming for a while. You’ve probably talked with your spouse about it extensively. You may have gone to counseling. It’s no surprise to you, to say the least. 

However, remember that their parents’ divorce will still come as a surprise to most children. You need to be very careful with how you break the news. 

Six ways you can make things go smoothly when you tell the kids

Your goal is to make this conversation go smoothly and leave your children feeling loved and secure, despite the changes that are upcoming in their life. Here are six things you can do to make that happen:

1. Pick a time when you actually have the time to talk, then sit down and have a calm conversation for as long as needed.
2. Allow your children the time they need to ask all of the questions that they want. Realize it may take more than one conversation.

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 Posted on September 11, 2020 in Family Law

Going through a divorce in Virginia can be a complicated process, but when parents of minor children go through a divorce there are added complications that they must resolve. This is because they have to make difficult decisions regarding who will make major decisions regarding their children and when each parent will have the children.

They also need to make decisions regarding how each parent will contribute towards the children’s financial needs, which is accomplished through child support orders. There are different aspects of child support orders though. There is the basic monthly child support obligation and also other costs which are included in child support orders which may occur less frequently than the basic expenses.

Basic child support

This part of the child support obligation is for the basics such as food, clothing and shelter. It is determined by the child support guidelines which uses the parents’ respective incomes, the number of minor children the parents have and the custody arrangement for the parents. However, this basic child support obligation can also include the amount a parent pays for the children’s health and dental insurance premiums each month.

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 Posted on August 24, 2020 in Trusts

Many residents of Northern Virginia may have heard about revocable living trusts being a useful estate planning device.

Fairfax County residents may have questions about how exactly a revocable living trust works and what it advantages it offered in the estate planning process.

The mechanics of a revocable living trust

A trust is a separate entity, created through a legal document, in which a person, called the grantor, names another person or business, called the trustee, to manage her property.

Once the person creates the trust, he or she must also make sure to legally transfer any and all property he or she wants in the trust. This is because the trust is a separate legal entity and can only own property that is sold or given to it.

A revocable living trust is a type of trust where a person will name himself the trustee of his own property.

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 Posted on August 13, 2020 in Child Custody

Co-parenting after divorce comes with a lot of benefits. Your children’s lives are going to change drastically, but sharing custody gives a chance for them to spend quality time and with each parent. And having the guidance of both their parents through it all can make the transition a little more seamless.

In order to provide the security of two organized households for your children, you’ll have to put a plan together with your ex. Creating a parenting plan that keeps your children top of mind is crucial. And setting up a way for you to coordinate co-parent duties respectfully with your ex can help set you on the right foot after divorce.

Speed it up

It’s important to not put the planning process on the back burner. Not having a system for child pick-ups and drop-offs in place or not knowing which days of the week you will have parenting time until the last minute will likely create tension between you and your co-parent. On top of that, your children may suffer with a lack of consistency in their life.

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 Posted on July 08, 2020 in Divorce

Many couples divorce because they can no longer put aside their differences. But, what if you feel like you still have far too frequent run-ins with your ex because you are co-parenting your children?

When co-parents aren’t looking to be in each other’s presence after separating from one another, they can try and use a parallel parenting arrangement instead. Through parallel parenting, you and your ex-spouse can take care of your children with minimal interaction with one another.

Features of this type or arrangement often include:

• Abiding by a strict pick-up and drop-off schedule
• Keeping exchanges brief when you do have to cross paths
• Attending child-related events or appointments separately
• Planning out a parenting schedule months in advance
• Communicating digitally rather than in-person

Parallel parenting allows each party to sort of set their own rules in their house. For example, instead of working together to create similar bedtime routines in each of the child’s homes, parents will do what they think works well. Or, when a child gets into trouble at school and one parent wants to ban the child from using technology for a month, the other parent doesn’t have to enforce this discipline tactic if they don’t want to.

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